A Desperate Plea
Wanted: Single friends
With whom I can enjoy the joys of singlehood. Attached people, unless they are Elka and KC, are not the best company around. This desperate plea comes from the sudden realisation that all my close friends are now attached, or on their way there.
I desperately need friends who will not neglect me when they get attached, will ogle girls and boys with me, with whom I don’t have to worry about being nice to their partners, who will not make me diabetic by gushing about their loves, who will not bore with me love-sick rants or bug me with requests for advice on their love life. I need some single friends who are happy being single, and will celebrate an Anti-Valentine’s Day with me, and say screw you to Cupid. The only condition is that I shouldn’t have to take care of you when you are drunk, and help you puke. I need friends with whom there is no danger of romantic attraction, and will not paw me when they are drunk.
Girls and boys are equally welcome to apply.
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I am sending in my application because I qualify!
Me too! I qualify!
Let’s go buy some flowers before Vday and start our own flowers venture. Wrap them up nicely and sell them for a ridiculously over-priced rate, make a bundle off the crazy couples and spend it on some new clothes, bags and shoes plus a great meal!
Both of you definitely don’t qualify – in fact, you are the straw that broke the single camel’s back and made me do the ad.
But that V-day venture sounds really good… *dreams up money-making schemes*
Argh. Will ignore first two commenters. It’s okay, I’m sure you did it on purpose.
Poor camel. *pats*
Hey, things are not so bad… you can start charging for your aunt agony services!
me! i qualify because i’m straighter than straight!
*joins hands with zark and happily skips away into the horizon of single-land*
indu, zark, i want in!
it’s singleland, not threesome land!
so there can’t be three people on singleland? you secretly want indu for yourself you bitch, acting all sly with your “straighter than straight” quote. indu, dont fall for it!
Ladies, ladies… there is more than enough of me to go around.
*joins hands with both of them and skips off into the horizon into the singleland for threesomes*