I’m bi. That’s a fact proudly announced on my blog sidebar, and something all my friends know. Granted, it took my clueless bisexual ex three months to know, but hey, not my fault. So why is it that I am still encountering people who insist on seeing me as lesbian, or straight boys who think it is just something I am into, for the kink factor? Why is that my idol, Alice in The L Word, swore in a military court that she is a lesbian now, when she was been maintaining for four seasons that she is bisexual? Why are people mud-slinging poor openly bisexual actress Kristanna Loken for getting engaged to a man?
Granted, my history is such that I haven’t really dated men. It it is just much easier for me to meet interesting women because of the circles I move in. I don’t gush as much about men, because of the simple fact that my standard for men is rather high. For one, he needs to be bi-friendly, or else it is bi-bi for him. To straight boys who hit on me… my sexuality isn’t a kink. It is not a topping thrown on top of the sundae, it is the sundae, a part of my identity as vital as my race or gender. If you can’t understand this, please go away. Secondly, most singaporean men just bore me to death [So do most singaporean girls actually, but the gay girls tend to be marginally more interesting].
I don’t consider sex with either one as “more fun”, or “more sacred”, or whatever. Yes, I have yet to fall in love with a boy, but hey, I’ve only fallen in love with one person in my entire life, so that’s hardly a good sampling. Stop telling me what my sexuality is, I know it better than you. If I do date a man or a woman next, that has nothing to do with whom I prefer, it is what it is. It doesn’t mean anything has changed.
To lesbians who are afraid of bisexuals: getoverit. Whether your relationship is going to succeed has nothing to do with whether your partner is bisexual or lesbian. If she leaves you for a man, it is really no different from her leaving you for a woman, except maybe your ego gets hurt more. So getoverit. Seriously.
Title: Bailando Va
Artist: La Caina
Album: Cafe del Mar Dream Vol 4
Cafe del Mar albums are famous world-wide for their soothing, chill-out, perfect for watching-a-sunset, perfect for a dinner-or-drinks-party music. Only recently have I gotten into their music, and I stumbled onto this song while looking at the Cafe del Mar Singapore website. It has all the classic markers of a Cafe del Mar song, the sounds of sea, the slow soothing Spanish female vocals, slow strumming of the guitar, that envelop you in a comforting lyrical blanket. It makes you want to curl up with a good book or a partner at the beach at night by a cosy fire. [By the way, the song is best heard without watching the accompanying music video - I used this link because it was the only one I could find]
I also managed to find a song I’ve been hunting for more than two years, from a Cafe Del Mar album – Mumbay Theme Tune, as it is called in the Cafe del Mar Volume 5. It is the theme song that appears in Fire, the controversial 1997 Indian lesbian movie. Fire, to this day, remains my favorite movie for many reasons, and this theme song, beautifully written by A.R. Rahman (as always, him being an unparalleled musical genius) makes me want to cry every time I hear it, so beautiful and bitter-sweet. Okay, I admit, I did cry the first time I heard it again, as it evoked for me, strong memories of the film and its powerful ending. You caught me, I am a weepy little sensitive girl. Now shoo, and go listen to the recommended tracks.
Update: Another recommendation from the Cafe del Mar Dreams Volume 4 – Feel Safe by Luminous, a beautiful, almost romantic tantric piece.
I’ve gone 20 years of my life without seriously obsessing over any celebrity. Seriously, I couldn’t care less, and if ever I did appear to be a “fan”, it was just because I needed to appear like a normal person who did care.
Until I discovered KT Tunstall. You may remember how I recommended her music before. My love for her music has grown exponentially since, enough to actually go for her concert at the end of March, which I’ve never done for any other artiste. And I am actually starting to appreciate her as a person – ironically because they don’t sell her as a personality. How do you not like this self-lyric-writing, self-guitar-playing, self-singing, talented artiste? How do you not appreciate her genuine commitment to the ecology? For once, the music is not all about sex and love, or gangsters shooting each other up.
And need I mention how much it helps that she pings my gaydar like no one’s business? Okay that is not the main reason, duh, but the fact that she looks like a regular girl, and not a made-up Barbie doll, and the fact that I just love dykey-but-not-masculine-looking women, solidifies my adoration for her. I don’t want to bed her, I just want her to remain as an example to all the people out there that you don’t need to be all girly and sexy to make it as a solo female artiste. [Yes, I know you are still there, Melissa Etheridge, you rock my world too with the way you survived breast cancer and had twins.] Not that she isn’t sexy, which once again is ironic, because I find her sexy because they don’t sell her as sexy.
Dear KT – I shall buy every one of your albums once I can afford to, because I think you are one of the few gems of musicians who deserve it, in this fucked-up music industry built on sex appeal, image-driven sales, and hormonal teenage girls and boys.
This series was inspired tangentially by the post I wrote, the comparative analysis of Harry Potter, the Holocaust and homophobia. I don’t write fanfiction, this is my virgin foray into the genre. But what happens here is so far removed from the Harry Potter world that I don’t think it even qualifies as one, but rather a parody of real life using well-loved characters. Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, and every last wand belongs to J.K Rowling and Warner Bros.
Do NOT read ahead if you have not read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows yet. Read more »
Memorial I handed up, and I have a LAWR-free week ahead.
Feels like heaven.
What IS with her obsession with the rectum and it’s various functions anyway? Does she LACK a rectum? Should we PROCURE one for her?
— Simon on a certain person we all know and love
No, I am not dead, it is just LAWR season. Again. Meanwhile, enjoy these gems of Youtube video goodness.
The Big Gay Sketch Show – Lesbian Phone Sex.
The Big Gay Sketch Show – Lesbian Speed Dating
Goh Yihan: As to specific performance… courts don’t hold parties to their contractual obligations, subject to compensation. It is like family law, if two people who enter the marriage freely don’t want to stay together anymore, the courts can’t force them to.
Sean: It is a bad bargain!
[Warning: If you have not read the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, which, I have no idea why you have not yet, read no further!]
I’ve always felt there was a queer reading to the magical world in J.K Rowling’s Harry Potter series, not in the least because Dumbledore was gay. It is the way the community stays hidden, has their own culture and history, always afraid of being found out about their abilities. There is a reason why X-Men is so popular with the gay community, as they are along the same lines. But the seventh book introduced a new queer reading, with the take-over of the Ministry by Voldemort, which I shall explain in due course. Read more »
I completely passed V-day by because I had nothing good to say about it. I never had anything good to say about it, single or attached. But I had the occasion to speak to several friends on the subject, some of whom aren’t quite as happily single as I am.
There are worse things than being single all your life, or even being single, contrary to popular opinion. It is realising that you’ve been wasting your life on the wrong people. It is realising you’ve put your heart on the line, your time and energy, taken on emotional baggage, with people who don’t deserve it.
Of course, all relationships end at one point or another. There is no such thing as forever love, and there is certainly no relationship where you are happy 100% of the time. But when you realise that this is not how people treat each other usually, that you did deserve much better, when the bad memories eclipse the intangible good ones, that being single is so much more better than being in a relationship and feeling completely alone and unappreciated…
And when you realise that, that’s the worst feeling of all.