A Note to Straight Girls
So you are disappointed with your boyfriend. Maybe he cheated on you, maybe he decided to be typical man and ignore your feelings. Maybe you think you can’t make it work with men anymore. So what is the solution? Find a woman, because she can’t break your heart? Because she’ll treat you better?
Please, for the sake of all that is good and lesbian, don’t even think about it. For one, no one can “turn” lesbian. They can experiment, but people are either queer, or they are not. They just might realise it at different points in life, or not realise it at all. Or some people are just attracted to a person, despite their gender.
Myth #1: Lesbians don’t cheat on their girlfriends.
Where do I even begin… maybe I shouldn’t, maybe you should go talk to all my friends and then come back and say it to me with a straight face.
And it really doesn’t mean that if you are a queer woman, your limited options (if they are indeed limited) are going to stand in your way of infidelity. Queer women cheat too – probably as much as straight men.
Myth #2: I will never get my heart broken with another woman
Okay – FYI, women do break your hearts. That probably goes with her cheating on you as well.
Myth #3: Men are stupid jerks
So are women.
Myth #4: Two girls can understand each other better
This is the worst myth of all. There are so many elements to a person, her ethnicity, her education, her upbringing, her talents and aspirations, her personality… there is no way that a single determinant of gender is going to make you understand another person better.
Myth #5: She will treat me better
Maybe she’ll forget your birthday too – who knows? Women are equally capable of treating each other badly.
Myth #6: Lesbian relationships are more egalitarian
Not really. Every relationship, regardless of gender, has its own power dynamics that may or may not be independent of the gender roles. Someone still has to do the ironing.
Myth #7: Women are more sensitive to feelings
My ex-girlfriend called me the most insensitive, clueless person she knows. *hums*
Myth #8: It isn’t all about sex, with her
Do you really think we care less about sex than men? Hey, it is even more convenient for us.
Myth #9: Lesbian sex is better
It is all about skill, my dear. Skill and knowledge. Most queer women just happen to know more about what pleases a woman because, unlike men, the penis doesn’t come first.
Myth #10: Women don’t exploit other women
Clearly you haven’t seen us drooling over Angelina Jolie. Or watching porn.
Date a girl if you like her, not because you think our life is better. It pisses me off when a straight girl experiments with a queer woman and then goes back to men, leading people to think lesbianism is a phase, and the reason girls “turn lesbian” is because they are disappointed with men. And the subsequent conclusion that all that these women need is a good man to come along and “save them”.
Women give us as many problems as men do for straight women. Straight relationships and gay relationships are equally problematic, perhaps the only difference being the additional homophobia we face. Mere gender does not determine how a person will act, or how the relationship will turn out.