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A Note to Straight Girls


So you are disappointed with your boyfriend. Maybe he cheated on you, maybe he decided to be typical man and ignore your feelings. Maybe you think you can’t make it work with men anymore. So what is the solution? Find a woman, because she can’t break your heart? Because she’ll treat you better?

Please, for the sake of all that is good and lesbian, don’t even think about it. For one, no one can “turn” lesbian. They can experiment, but people are either queer, or they are not. They just might realise it at different points in life, or not realise it at all. Or some people are just attracted to a person, despite their gender.

Myth #1: Lesbians don’t cheat on their girlfriends.

Where do I even begin… maybe I shouldn’t, maybe you should go talk to all my friends and then come back and say it to me with a straight face.

And it really doesn’t mean that if you are a queer woman, your limited options (if they are indeed limited) are going to stand in your way of infidelity. Queer women cheat too – probably as much as straight men.

Myth #2: I will never get my heart broken with another woman

Seriously? Seriously?!

Okay – FYI, women do break your hearts. That probably goes with her cheating on you as well.

Myth #3: Men are stupid jerks

So are women.

Myth #4: Two girls can understand each other better

This is the worst myth of all. There are so many elements to a person, her ethnicity, her education, her upbringing, her talents and aspirations, her personality… there is no way that a single determinant of gender is going to make you understand another person better.

Myth #5: She will treat me better

Maybe she’ll forget your birthday too – who knows? Women are equally capable of treating each other badly.

Myth #6: Lesbian relationships are more egalitarian

Not really. Every relationship, regardless of gender, has its own power dynamics that may or may not be independent of the gender roles. Someone still has to do the ironing.

Myth #7: Women are more sensitive to feelings

My ex-girlfriend called me the most insensitive, clueless person she knows. *hums*

Myth #8: It isn’t all about sex, with her

Do you really think we care less about sex than men? Hey, it is even more convenient for us.

Myth #9: Lesbian sex is better

It is all about skill, my dear. Skill and knowledge. Most queer women just happen to know more about what pleases a woman because, unlike men, the penis doesn’t come first.

Myth #10: Women don’t exploit other women

Clearly you haven’t seen us drooling over Angelina Jolie. Or watching porn.


Date a girl if you like her, not because you think our life is better. It pisses me off when a straight girl experiments with a queer woman and then goes back to men, leading people to think lesbianism is a phase, and the reason girls “turn lesbian” is because they are disappointed with men. And the subsequent conclusion that all that these women need is a good man to come along and “save them”.

Women give us as many problems as men do for straight women. Straight relationships and gay relationships are equally problematic, perhaps the only difference being the additional homophobia we face. Mere gender does not determine how a person will act, or how the relationship will turn out.


January 9, 2008 - Posted by | Relationships | , , , , , , , ,


  1. LOL!

    WTG! You hit the nail right on the head… So right and so true…

    Now… if only we could find a way to distribute this post to the general straight women public then all of us would be saved from the heart-breaking, gut-wrenching break-up with a would-be-lesbian-wannabe-straight-girl!

    Comment by Liv | January 9, 2008 | Reply

  2. amen

    Comment by beecharmers | January 9, 2008 | Reply

  3. Some of them are just looking for someone to look after their babies.


    I wish they’d all read it.

    Comment by closetedlesbian | January 10, 2008 | Reply

  4. “gender” is a language loaded with dominant narratives and expectations.

    maybe “experimental homosexuality”, “trends-bianism” are part of pansexuality? in pansexuality, society doesn’t have much a say in how one should be turned on. but unfortunately, peoples exist in society and peoples will use heterosexist norms and pass heterosexist judgements.

    by the way, lesbian women are portrayed in the press as having fiery and stormy relationships. that could be another myth.

    Comment by Sam | January 12, 2008 | Reply

  5. Here, here!

    I’m a straight guy, I never picked either my gender nor my sexual orientation. Nobody can. I was born with it. People can always pretend to be something that they’re not though.

    Fake bi girls are fastly becoming the scourge of the universe. I’m thoroughly sick of girls telling me that they’re bi and expecting me to become putty in their hand, only to laugh and call me gay (as if real homosexuality is actually a bad thing) when I don’t appear particularly impressed. Such girls have terrible esteem issues and seem to be unhinged in some way, from my experience. I remember some girl telling me that she makes out with her friend in front of her boyfriend so he can get off on it and seemed really lost on why I thought it was lame. If anything, I think she expected me to be impressed by it.

    This ‘trend’ is both anti-woman and anti-homosexuality. Silly girls who’ll go to such lengths to get the approval of guys just serves to cement a male-dominated society. What’s worse though is that the only message it gives out to men is “I’m easy and desperate”. Such girls will never be considered proper girlfriend material by most guys who have any standards at all. The sad thing is, often little distinction is given between real bisexual girls (and often lesbians too) and these fakers. Particularly men with low mental sophistication (the ones these girls mostly attract) tend to think that any girlxgirl action is merely masturbatory material for them

    So real bisexual girls (and perhaps leabians) you have my deepest sympathies in regards to these wannabes.

    Comment by Gareth | January 18, 2008 | Reply

  6. Getting sick of all this waxing on by ego-tists in an effort to justify the vain , divisive , irresponsible “lifestyle” they’ve , sadly , chosen.

    “lesbianism” is evil.

    ”lesbianism” is an evil choice bought about by untempered affluence, absolute vanity , arrogance , sexism and rampant nihilism.

    No-one , repeat no-one , is born to be “queer”.
    That kind of decision is in total violation of human nature , biology and Divine law.

    It shows how depraved , how staggeringlt pointless , so much have “society” has become….that people will , first of all get into this stuff….and then , like here , rhapsodise on with fabricated and convoluted ‘theories’ about the ‘how’s and why’s of it’….and if someone’s really in the “club”.

    “lesbianism/homosexuality” is the Everest of sexism , is total irresponsibility , and must stop , now.

    You are much , much , better than this arrogant , sinful , depravity.

    Man and Woman is Ying and Yang , is life , is soul , is truth.

    SKOT ….

    Comment by SKOT | April 8, 2008 | Reply

  7. Excuse me “SKOT”,

    Despite your strong opinions, science is against you. Gender preference is not just a simple ‘choice’. It has many different determining factors, many based in simple genetics. In this case, Nature beats Nurture.

    Human nature is extremly debatable. As you mentioned, you believe that homosexuality is a direct evidence of a hedonistic ‘society’. If ‘society’ is not a product of human nature and culture, what is? Today’s society is not much different than those of our predecessors’.

    One of the most famous and exaulted educated societies, the ancient Greeks, openly encouraged sexual relationships between men and touted one of the most famous poets, Sappho, who was an open lesbian who resided on the island of Lesbos, from which the term ‘lesbian’ is derived.

    Also, this ‘violation’ of biology does not exsist. Homosexual relationships occur everyday in nature between many different animals. The Bonobos, the closest primate linked to humans, are famous for their many lesbian colonies.

    As to ‘Divine Law’, of which do you speak? There are many different religons, each with their own laws. And there are many believers, who each have laws of their own. Religon IS a choice, and no matter who believes in what God, it is up to the follower to choose in what they believe is right or wrong, because people will always have there own opinions.

    I, for one, do not believe that homosexuality is wrong. It is simply Love.

    Lastly, I commend your attempts for a higher vocabulary and a more intelligent impression; however, you would have done better to actually spell properly and employ proper grammar.

    Thank you,

    Comment by Al | August 13, 2008 | Reply

  8. Al makes many good points. Specifically concerning homosexuality in animals, not only are Bonobos known to be homosexual, but almost all major mammals (at least all the ones I know) have been known to partake in homosexuality. Elephant males spend a great deal of time in all male groups where they commonly have sex. There is even a gay Penguin couple (I think) at the Washington zoo that even adopted a baby Penguin abandoned by its mother.

    Obviously biology and Divine law intended for homosexuality to be natural. I think its sad that SKOT thinks otherwise in the face of overwhelming evidence.


    P.S. I just found this blog; its awesome!

    Comment by Jaron | September 5, 2008 | Reply

  9. “Myth #9: Lesbian sex is better

    It is all about skill, my dear. Skill and knowledge. Most queer women just happen to know more about what pleases a woman because, unlike men, the penis doesn’t come first.”

    lmao I always thought lesbian sex was better BECAUSE it doesn’t involve a man AND his penis? How you can get turned on by a naked man is beyond me… Regardless of how much “skill and knowledge” he has. I guess that would explain why I’m a lesbian 🙂

    Comment by Cris | November 3, 2008 | Reply

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