A Desperate Plea
Wanted: Single friends
With whom I can enjoy the joys of singlehood. Attached people, unless they are Elka and KC, are not the best company around. This desperate plea comes from the sudden realisation that all my close friends are now attached, or on their way there.
I desperately need friends who will not neglect me when they get attached, will ogle girls and boys with me, with whom I don’t have to worry about being nice to their partners, who will not make me diabetic by gushing about their loves, who will not bore with me love-sick rants or bug me with requests for advice on their love life. I need some single friends who are happy being single, and will celebrate an Anti-Valentine’s Day with me, and say screw you to Cupid. The only condition is that I shouldn’t have to take care of you when you are drunk, and help you puke. I need friends with whom there is no danger of romantic attraction, and will not paw me when they are drunk.
Girls and boys are equally welcome to apply.