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I’m bi. That’s a fact proudly announced on my blog sidebar, and something all my friends know. Granted, it took my clueless bisexual ex three months to know, but hey, not my fault. So why is it that I am still encountering people who insist on seeing me as lesbian, or straight boys who think it is just something I am into, for the kink factor? Why is that my idol, Alice in The L Word, swore in a military court that she is a lesbian now, when she was been maintaining for four seasons that she is bisexual? Why are people mud-slinging poor openly bisexual actress Kristanna Loken for getting engaged to a man?

Granted, my history is such that I haven’t really dated men. It it is just much easier for me to meet interesting women because of the circles I move in. I don’t gush as much about men, because of the simple fact that my standard for men is rather high. For one, he needs to be bi-friendly, or else it is bi-bi for him. To straight boys who hit on me… my sexuality isn’t a kink. It is not a topping thrown on top of the sundae, it is the sundae, a part of my identity as vital as my race or gender. If you can’t understand this, please go away. Secondly, most singaporean men just bore me to death [So do most singaporean girls actually, but the gay girls tend to be marginally more interesting].

I don’t consider sex with either one as “more fun”, or “more sacred”, or whatever. Yes, I have yet to fall in love with a boy, but hey, I’ve only fallen in love with one person in my entire life, so that’s hardly a good sampling. Stop telling me what my sexuality is, I know it better than you. If I do date a man or a woman next, that has nothing to do with whom I prefer, it is what it is. It doesn’t mean anything has changed.

To lesbians who are afraid of bisexuals: getoverit. Whether your relationship is going to succeed has nothing to do with whether your partner is bisexual or lesbian. If she leaves you for a man, it is really no different from her leaving you for a woman, except maybe your ego gets hurt more. So getoverit. Seriously.

February 29, 2008 - Posted by | Celebrities, LGBTQ, Relationships, TV Shows | , , , , , , ,


  1. Well I am just here to say I wish I wouldn’t have ran across this blog when I was thinking up a name for my new blog, I love this. The posts aren’t too bad either.

    Comment by matty | March 2, 2008 | Reply

  2. the problems faced by bisexual people are better explained by societal subscriptions to the concept of binary opposites (in gender and sexuality, with sexuality being conflated into gender).

    homosexual people call bisexual people “traitors”, “make up your mind” and so on. straight people will just see bisexual people are being confused, walking the tightrope between normalcy and abnormality, in need of some therapy.

    these homosexual folks just merely reproduce the ideologies of the dominant status quo, which states that society is governed by a “natural order” of binary opposites. the very same thinking also manifests in the curiosity of one when trying to figure out who’s the “guy”/”girl” in the gay relationship. categories are shitty, huh?

    Comment by Sam | March 4, 2008 | Reply

  3. I just have to say…You go girl! I really enjoyed reading this. I like your About blip too…very cool. I’ll be back. 🙂

    Comment by Marissa | March 7, 2008 | Reply

  4. *snaps fingers and twirls neck around*

    You go girl.

    Comment by The Pro Bono Columnist | March 8, 2008 | Reply

  5. Bi has a bad rap. “gender fluid” is a new word people seem to get. great to hear you’re so strong about where you stand. just released a novel on this topic called Down to the Bone with an all LGBTQ cast of latina/o characters. the main character feels she’s straight when she’s in love with a guy and lesbo when with a girl. she’s always felt that way and too hard to keep explaining that she’s not Bi, like you. everyone, especially her straight, guy-crazed best friend, is always telling her, “you’re a lesbian.” why can’t people understand that some can fall in love with either sex? don’t know why’s it’s so hard to get Bi’s or LGBTQ’s.

    i think lesbians who were abused by men can’t handle Bi’s and it’s understandable to be hurt if a Bi leaves them for a man. not sure they can easily “getoverit” as you say. might be horrifying for them to get involved with a Bi if there’s a possibility of being left for a man. maybe Bi’s should stay away from separatist dykes and They should never go near Bi’s. partly why Bi’s have a bad rep is because most straights think it’s just about sex with no emotions involved. straight girls experiment a lot with other girls, yet end up with guys, so everyone thinks it’s just about experimentation and nothing more. Bi’s are not taken seriously and most end up with men.

    it’s a complex subject.

    Comment by mayraldole | March 16, 2008 | Reply

  6. Bisexual?
    You mean indecisive don’t you?

    Or merely too un-evolved to remove your gratification of the flesh to a position of lesser prominence?

    Typical women- thinks the world revolves around their fishy beared stink-clam.
    It doesn’t. Men are out there thinking and acting- while you pathetic women obsess endlessly about your vagina’s talking monologues to you.

    There’s no Dick Monolgues are there? Because men aren’t stupid enough to pay for such shit and have better things to do- like earn a livingt for their wife and kids.

    Though- I am curious- is it because Indian and Chinese men have such small dicks you went carpet-munching crazy?

    Comment by Mr Roboto | May 6, 2008 | Reply

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