There is no other appropriate title for this post. Some of you might remember the article that was published in Trevvy, written by me. Some of my close friends will know the never-ending drama that is caused by a former romantic interest. Fewer still will know the whole story about what really happened – but that’s alright, this blog is not an autobiography of me, and this post is not a cathartic-vent-my-emotions to the world piece.
Originally posted on Sayoni Speak
Love. Amour. Pyaar. Ai. No matter what language, what culture, the L word dominates our thinking, our lives, the media. Finding (and keeping) love, is the universal theme that connects humankind.
It might be partly the fault of media, that we have been absorbed into the myth of “love”. It begins with fairytales as a kid, when the Prince falls in love with the beautiful princess, and they live happily ever after. Then the movies, songs, which all seem to speak of this. Love has a powerful grip on the human imagination and consciousness, to the point where we almost seem obsessed with it.
Everyone’s on his/her planet. Now… some planets are just from different solar systems. So no use going there, find yourself a planet mate thats closer to who you are.
— O’Ren, on unrequited love
I’m bi. That’s a fact proudly announced on my blog sidebar, and something all my friends know. Granted, it took my clueless bisexual ex three months to know, but hey, not my fault. So why is it that I am still encountering people who insist on seeing me as lesbian, or straight boys who think it is just something I am into, for the kink factor? Why is that my idol, Alice in The L Word, swore in a military court that she is a lesbian now, when she was been maintaining for four seasons that she is bisexual? Why are people mud-slinging poor openly bisexual actress Kristanna Loken for getting engaged to a man?
Granted, my history is such that I haven’t really dated men. It it is just much easier for me to meet interesting women because of the circles I move in. I don’t gush as much about men, because of the simple fact that my standard for men is rather high. For one, he needs to be bi-friendly, or else it is bi-bi for him. To straight boys who hit on me… my sexuality isn’t a kink. It is not a topping thrown on top of the sundae, it is the sundae, a part of my identity as vital as my race or gender. If you can’t understand this, please go away. Secondly, most singaporean men just bore me to death [So do most singaporean girls actually, but the gay girls tend to be marginally more interesting].
I don’t consider sex with either one as “more fun”, or “more sacred”, or whatever. Yes, I have yet to fall in love with a boy, but hey, I’ve only fallen in love with one person in my entire life, so that’s hardly a good sampling. Stop telling me what my sexuality is, I know it better than you. If I do date a man or a woman next, that has nothing to do with whom I prefer, it is what it is. It doesn’t mean anything has changed.
To lesbians who are afraid of bisexuals: getoverit. Whether your relationship is going to succeed has nothing to do with whether your partner is bisexual or lesbian. If she leaves you for a man, it is really no different from her leaving you for a woman, except maybe your ego gets hurt more. So getoverit. Seriously.
Goh Yihan: As to specific performance… courts don’t hold parties to their contractual obligations, subject to compensation. It is like family law, if two people who enter the marriage freely don’t want to stay together anymore, the courts can’t force them to.
Sean: It is a bad bargain!
I completely passed V-day by because I had nothing good to say about it. I never had anything good to say about it, single or attached. But I had the occasion to speak to several friends on the subject, some of whom aren’t quite as happily single as I am.
There are worse things than being single all your life, or even being single, contrary to popular opinion. It is realising that you’ve been wasting your life on the wrong people. It is realising you’ve put your heart on the line, your time and energy, taken on emotional baggage, with people who don’t deserve it.
Of course, all relationships end at one point or another. There is no such thing as forever love, and there is certainly no relationship where you are happy 100% of the time. But when you realise that this is not how people treat each other usually, that you did deserve much better, when the bad memories eclipse the intangible good ones, that being single is so much more better than being in a relationship and feeling completely alone and unappreciated…
And when you realise that, that’s the worst feeling of all.
There are a lot of couples springing up in law school recently, and most of them got together during LAWR season last semester… I swear, LAWR is a secret SDU scheme.
Amazing Race Irene was in planning for two weeks, involved about 15 people and several gifts, and probably traumatised some people for life. All Liv’s idea, of course. She can’t just do a normal birthday party, oh no, it has to involve Irene running around the island performing otherwise embarassing tasks (but not to her) in exchange for her birthday gifts(all from Liv, not us) and the clue for the next station. The stationmasters were allowed to come up with the dares for their station, so Liv could truthfully abdicate responsibility for it.
As things would have it, in the flurry of emails sent back and forth between all the participating friends on the logistics of the event, all the three couples somehow were alloted the same station. Of course, there was no question of separating the couples to different stations, because they are constitutionally incapable of spending more than 5 minutes away from each other. They are incapable of even sitting more than 2 cm apart at the dinner-party we had at Liv’s house after the race, forcing us singles to give up our seats so that they can continue being sticky rice. But anyway, it didn’t come to pass that they were indeed all at the same station, because of last-minute rearrangements. But if they had… this is how I imagine their conversation would have gone.
Manqin: Hey everyone!
Cheyenne: Hi… *goes back to staring at Manqin* I love you!
Anj: *sits down* Hey!
Kai: That skirt is too short for you to decently sit down… couldn’t you get something longer?
Cheyenne: Speaking of skirts, my baby wore one yesterday, and she looked sooo sexy in it… ahh… my baby manqin… I love her so much!
Ogy: *rolls eyes* My baby loves breast more than thigh.
Cheyenne: My baby loves me!
PF: Not anymore, not for chicken.
Anj: Kai wants me to marry her in three years!
Manqin: So, do you think Irene is going to like the bunny tail I made for her?
Kai: And so you will, because you are mine! And that skirt is still too short.
Cheyenne: Ah, my baby manqin…. so thoughtful, so cute, so creative. I love her loads!
Manqin: Here comes Irene!
Kai: Why is she here? Wait a minute, why are we all here? *looks at Anj again* Marry me, I love you so much!
Ogy: It is Irene’s birthday!
Cheyenne: It is? I only remember my baby’s birthday….
Anj: How do you know it is Irene’s birthday… *gasps* do you read her blog?
PF: Hey guys, should we make her sing Elton John songs?
Anj: Who is Elton John?
*and so on and so forth until everyone except Cheyenne and Manqin has fainted from sugar-shock and Kai buys Anj an ankle-length skirt*
Anyway, Happy Birthday Irene!
So you are disappointed with your boyfriend. Maybe he cheated on you, maybe he decided to be typical man and ignore your feelings. Maybe you think you can’t make it work with men anymore. So what is the solution? Find a woman, because she can’t break your heart? Because she’ll treat you better?
Please, for the sake of all that is good and lesbian, don’t even think about it. For one, no one can “turn” lesbian. They can experiment, but people are either queer, or they are not. They just might realise it at different points in life, or not realise it at all. Or some people are just attracted to a person, despite their gender. Continue reading