Originally posted on Sayoni Speak
Guess who’s back? That’s right, bisexual bachelorette MySpace queen Tila Tequila is back for another shot at love, this time, with 15 guys and girls each. Tila and Bobby broke up barely months after the end of the first season, Bobby not being able to handle her job and its pressures, so a broken-hearted Tila is back for another season, looking for love. Still picky, still princessy, still as gorgeous as ever.
Whatever she is taking, I want it too!
Warning: Mild spoilers ahead! Do not read further if you don’t want to know what happened at all.
A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila is a MTV reality dating show, with a twist: the bachelorette is a bisexual woman, and 16 guys and 16 girls will be competing for her heart. Now, normally, I don’t watch reality TV trash. And I watch dating show trash even less, and MTV trash takes the place at the bottom of the ladder. But I was introduced to it by a friend, and in a couple of episodes, I was hooked already. How could I miss a program like this, a pioneer in the visibility of lesbian, and more importantly, bisexual women?
Tila Tequila, the bachelorette of Vietnamese descent, whose real name is Tila Nguyen [now you see why she changed her name to something so much more porny], is an undeniably beautiful, sexy woman. Her beauty can be fully appreciated in all the various outfits she appears in the show, all of which she does justice [except that awful dress made of metal sheets she wore in the first episode]. She is a very picky, often unforgiving person with regards to her suitors, complete with a free-spirited, sometimes child-like personality.
The suitors are a good-looking bunch, that is to be expected, with the producers only picking people who look fairly good on camera. Some of the men seriously did look like male models. But what was pleasantly surprising was that the women were absolutely gorgeous too, and these were real lesbian women, not the fake ones in porn or on The L Word. Even the butch/andro women were good-looking, in my opinion. So, anyone who claims that The L Word is unrealistic because “the women are all thin and pretty”… please look at the line-up in Tila.
The show itself is as dramatic as you can get. Maybe more dramatic than The L Word. The men push each other into the water, the women try to tear each other’s hair apart, one lesbian tries to use her sex appeal to get rid of the men, people threaten to leave… you name it. More than once, I’ve had to wonder how scripted it is, because it seems so unrealistic, that all the drama that does not happen on camera on straight dating shows happen on this show. Or maybe the producers deliberately threw in some unstable personalities. Or maybe they were “encouraged” to do so. Who knows – what I do know that it makes for a lot of entertainment for me, in front of the computer screen.
One major problem I had with the show is how they chose to approach bisexuality. They pitted girls against guys, and it was fairly obvious from the elimination each week that the producers instructed Tila to keep an equal 1:1 ratio of girls and guys as far as possible. Which really isn’t how it should work… this is a game of love after all, and the girls and guys are equal competitors. Most of the “challenges” in the show, which they had to win in order to win “alone time” with Tila, were organised along girl-guy lines, which did really make me want to hit the stop button. ((What did surprise me was that the girls consistently won most of the challenges, which were rather physical.)) Bisexuality isn’t about whether it is a girl or a guy, but whether the person is right for you. Tila herself made a lot of “I like girls for this, but I like guys for that” remarks, which made me roll my very bisexual eyes, and kept saying she had to figure out whether she really liked girls or guys. The suitors made similar remarks too. And the very next moment, she would justify herself saying she was bisexual, and was attracted to both guys and girls, and that no one understood her.
Only in the end, I think, she finally understood it wasn’t about choosing between the sexes. At least one person has gained enlightenment. One down, rest of the world to go.
From this part onwards, I’ll be talking about what actually did happen on the show, including the ending, so if you do not want spoilers, do not read ahead.
Alright, so there are 4 people left, and adorable Brandi left the show out of her own volition [you stupid stupid girl!]. Which was the biggest mistake, in my opinion, because Brandi stood a real good chance of making the final two, compared to Amanda [who is seriously just a blonde bimbo], and whats-his-face Ryan, who is just boring. Dani is cute and sweet, but too much so. While even I would date Ms Androgynous-Firefighter because she is so sweet and nice, I don’t see how it can lead to a passionate relationship, because I am very likely to ditch her for the next hot, voluptuous lipstick lesbian brunette who comes along, say, Brandi. At this point, it seems pretty clear that Tila is going to pick Bobby in the end. He’s cute, but a little too young, in my opinion. But of course, I am watching A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila, not A Shot At Love with Pleinelune Perry.
Okay, doesn’t take a genius to guess that I am totally rooting for Brandi. Come on, both girls are named after alcoholic beverages! That’s got to be a sign from the person up there in an angel-outfit calculating people’s compatibility. Tila was totally stupid to not let her back in, in my opinion, but then we all know Tila is somewhat unforgiving and princessy
The missus will probably kick my ass for saying this… but dear Brandi, if you ever do get over Tila, and if I were single, you are always welcome on the show A Shot At Love with Pleinelune Perry. And I promise I’ll let you back in even if you run away, because I am a lot more forgiving than Tila.