At last the drama is over. Hello, simple quiet boring life. I’ve missed you.
And since the Anniversary Party is over, I can finally get distractions out of the way and start mugging for exams. In theory.
Yes, the party was great fun, thanks for asking. And I’m going to take this time to congratulate Yong Meiling for winning the Sayoni Woman of the Year 2008 title, for her outstanding achievements to the community.
I want my simple, quiet drama-free life back. Like Now.
Ever had a moment where you were completely and utterly blown away by something you didn’t expect? Ever felt like life had turned tables on you, and you can’t even think straight, or process what is happening to you?
Well, I am there. And I have no idea where this is going
I’m bi. That’s a fact proudly announced on my blog sidebar, and something all my friends know. Granted, it took my clueless bisexual ex three months to know, but hey, not my fault. So why is it that I am still encountering people who insist on seeing me as lesbian, or straight boys who think it is just something I am into, for the kink factor? Why is that my idol, Alice in The L Word, swore in a military court that she is a lesbian now, when she was been maintaining for four seasons that she is bisexual? Why are people mud-slinging poor openly bisexual actress Kristanna Loken for getting engaged to a man?
Granted, my history is such that I haven’t really dated men. It it is just much easier for me to meet interesting women because of the circles I move in. I don’t gush as much about men, because of the simple fact that my standard for men is rather high. For one, he needs to be bi-friendly, or else it is bi-bi for him. To straight boys who hit on me… my sexuality isn’t a kink. It is not a topping thrown on top of the sundae, it is the sundae, a part of my identity as vital as my race or gender. If you can’t understand this, please go away. Secondly, most singaporean men just bore me to death [So do most singaporean girls actually, but the gay girls tend to be marginally more interesting].
I don’t consider sex with either one as “more fun”, or “more sacred”, or whatever. Yes, I have yet to fall in love with a boy, but hey, I’ve only fallen in love with one person in my entire life, so that’s hardly a good sampling. Stop telling me what my sexuality is, I know it better than you. If I do date a man or a woman next, that has nothing to do with whom I prefer, it is what it is. It doesn’t mean anything has changed.
To lesbians who are afraid of bisexuals: getoverit. Whether your relationship is going to succeed has nothing to do with whether your partner is bisexual or lesbian. If she leaves you for a man, it is really no different from her leaving you for a woman, except maybe your ego gets hurt more. So getoverit. Seriously.
Amazing Race Irene was in planning for two weeks, involved about 15 people and several gifts, and probably traumatised some people for life. All Liv’s idea, of course. She can’t just do a normal birthday party, oh no, it has to involve Irene running around the island performing otherwise embarassing tasks (but not to her) in exchange for her birthday gifts(all from Liv, not us) and the clue for the next station. The stationmasters were allowed to come up with the dares for their station, so Liv could truthfully abdicate responsibility for it.
As things would have it, in the flurry of emails sent back and forth between all the participating friends on the logistics of the event, all the three couples somehow were alloted the same station. Of course, there was no question of separating the couples to different stations, because they are constitutionally incapable of spending more than 5 minutes away from each other. They are incapable of even sitting more than 2 cm apart at the dinner-party we had at Liv’s house after the race, forcing us singles to give up our seats so that they can continue being sticky rice. But anyway, it didn’t come to pass that they were indeed all at the same station, because of last-minute rearrangements. But if they had… this is how I imagine their conversation would have gone.
Manqin: Hey everyone!
Cheyenne: Hi… *goes back to staring at Manqin* I love you!
Anj: *sits down* Hey!
Kai: That skirt is too short for you to decently sit down… couldn’t you get something longer?
Cheyenne: Speaking of skirts, my baby wore one yesterday, and she looked sooo sexy in it… ahh… my baby manqin… I love her so much!
Ogy: *rolls eyes* My baby loves breast more than thigh.
Cheyenne: My baby loves me!
PF: Not anymore, not for chicken.
Anj: Kai wants me to marry her in three years!
Manqin: So, do you think Irene is going to like the bunny tail I made for her?
Kai: And so you will, because you are mine! And that skirt is still too short.
Cheyenne: Ah, my baby manqin…. so thoughtful, so cute, so creative. I love her loads!
Manqin: Here comes Irene!
Kai: Why is she here? Wait a minute, why are we all here? *looks at Anj again* Marry me, I love you so much!
Ogy: It is Irene’s birthday!
Cheyenne: It is? I only remember my baby’s birthday….
Anj: How do you know it is Irene’s birthday… *gasps* do you read her blog?
PF: Hey guys, should we make her sing Elton John songs?
Anj: Who is Elton John?
*and so on and so forth until everyone except Cheyenne and Manqin has fainted from sugar-shock and Kai buys Anj an ankle-length skirt*
Anyway, Happy Birthday Irene!
This isn’t what I want to be.
The precise reasons why I chose law are still a mystery to me. With the exception of LAWR, I actually do like my course, contrary to popular opinion. And I really cannot imagine doing something else, especially not engineering like my parents wanted me to. For the first time, I actually feel like I belong in a course and with the other people taking the course, as contrasted to my two horrible years as a double maths student completely out of her depth. I used to like maths, and actually be quite good at it until F Maths [Now I’ve completely forgotten how to integrate or find vector spaces].
About five minutes after people learn I am a law student, the inevitable question that comes my way is “what kind of lawyer are you going to be?”. I’ve answered this question with a patiently evasive technique, saying I don’t get to choose my modules yet. Or I tell them I’ve two years to make up my mind, and I haven’t yet. And that is indeed the truth. I haven’t made up my mind. The only thing I know what I potentially will not like. The only thing I know is that I am not interested in an economics degree, nor in any business/finance crap. Law of Contracts kinda beat that out of me. I am really really not interested in figuring out complex financial dealings or corporate mergers, or spend not just my April 15th, but the entire year filing taxes. I won’t deny I am interested in human rights laws, but it is not like it pays a lot.
My parents are putting pressure on me to take a double degree in economics and then go for a analytical/consultancy position, as they are not very interested in me practicing. *I* am not sure whether I am going to be practicing in the future. LAWR isn’t exactly making practice look extremely appealing. I do not want to work 12-14 hours a day until I am 40. If there is anything I realised lately, is how I really want a family of my own, with kids and all. And if I do have kids, I don’t want to be missing their childhood, or growing distant from my partner, while slaving away in the office over some stupid brief. I think its the combined effect of Grey’s Anatomy Season 3, and Street Lawyer by John Grisham, that brought me to this revelation, when all this while, I had been mentally putting my career at the top of my priorities when thinking about the future. And my commitment to activism is absolutely life-long – this is not a adolescent/young-adult phase, and I would like to continue making a difference.
The second consideration is financial independence. I am not going to live with my parents until I am 35, in the vain hopes of being able to buy a HDB flat then [thanks to another one of our screwed-up laws]. That’s just sad and pathetic. I plan to move out as soon as its possible, preferably right after I graduate and get a job. But if I am going to be striking out on my own, I cannot be subsisting on the non-existent salary of a human rights lawyer. Seriously, why is it so hard to find a specialty that is sufficiently rewarding, but still pays adequately?
Am I asking for too much – trying to have it all?
Cheyenne, I swear, if I read “my manqin” or “my baby” one more time… I’ll commit kitten murder. My body is becoming resistant to insulin as it is.
*stalks off muttering darkly, thinking there are going to be lots of dead kittens by the end of the year*
P.S. Please don’t make me do it. I love kittens.
Wanted: Single friends
With whom I can enjoy the joys of singlehood. Attached people, unless they are Elka and KC, are not the best company around. This desperate plea comes from the sudden realisation that all my close friends are now attached, or on their way there.
I desperately need friends who will not neglect me when they get attached, will ogle girls and boys with me, with whom I don’t have to worry about being nice to their partners, who will not make me diabetic by gushing about their loves, who will not bore with me love-sick rants or bug me with requests for advice on their love life. I need some single friends who are happy being single, and will celebrate an Anti-Valentine’s Day with me, and say screw you to Cupid. The only condition is that I shouldn’t have to take care of you when you are drunk, and help you puke. I need friends with whom there is no danger of romantic attraction, and will not paw me when they are drunk.
Girls and boys are equally welcome to apply.
Liv is ready to kill me for this, but I am really proud of the way I sprang her surprise birthday party on her. So people, looking for a fresh idea to spring surprises, start taking notes now, because I think this should go down in the books. *sprains muscles trying to pat myself on the back*
I took her out on the pretext of shoe-shopping, and half-way through, as planned, Irene called me, and I pretended that it was my ex-girlfriend, and she wanted to see me right now, and she wanted to talk about things. After much coaxing, I managed to drag her along with me to give me “emotional support”, to Cafe Le Caire, where 12 of our friends were waiting with cake and presents.
Liv still maintains it was a lame lie, but I think that’s just because she didn’t see it coming, and she was strongly against me meeting my ex again. *giggles* This thing had been in planning for a couple of weeks – I was messaging everyone about the party, telling people to turn down invitations from her to hang out this weekend, making sure she is free tonight, crafting a mechanism to properly surprise her in a public place etc.
*sprains the muscles on the other side trying to pat myself on the back*
Happy Birthday in advance, Liv!
I’m back in the library again – after having literally lived here during LAWR Research Binder season last sem. *sobs* This time, I have to look up inheritance laws and family law, of all things.
Makes me very conscious about making my own will before a truck runs me over, but apparently, legally I am an “infant” until I reach 21 years old, and my will won’t be valid. Not that there is much to leave anyone.
So, I, Pleinelune, being of sound mind, broke, and not many worldly possessions, and of full knowledge that this will is nonsense and legally invalid, leave my money to Sayoni, my DVDs to Irene [so that she’ll finally watch some TV shows], my cosmetics to Liv and Anj [they are one of the few people who will have use for it], my textbooks to my sister[though they will be outdated by the time she goes to law school], and my laptop(s) to N [because she needs a new one], and my Adidas bag to Z[upon her request]. The rest of my possessions, including clothes, can be donated to Salvation Army.
And this is my first will and testament.
Addendum: Upon additional requests and further thought, I am leaving my old bras, iWork’08 and Adobe Suite to Zee. And Liv and Anj will get all my earrings as well.