I’m bi. That’s a fact proudly announced on my blog sidebar, and something all my friends know. Granted, it took my clueless bisexual ex three months to know, but hey, not my fault. So why is it that I am still encountering people who insist on seeing me as lesbian, or straight boys who think it is just something I am into, for the kink factor? Why is that my idol, Alice in The L Word, swore in a military court that she is a lesbian now, when she was been maintaining for four seasons that she is bisexual? Why are people mud-slinging poor openly bisexual actress Kristanna Loken for getting engaged to a man?
Granted, my history is such that I haven’t really dated men. It it is just much easier for me to meet interesting women because of the circles I move in. I don’t gush as much about men, because of the simple fact that my standard for men is rather high. For one, he needs to be bi-friendly, or else it is bi-bi for him. To straight boys who hit on me… my sexuality isn’t a kink. It is not a topping thrown on top of the sundae, it is the sundae, a part of my identity as vital as my race or gender. If you can’t understand this, please go away. Secondly, most singaporean men just bore me to death [So do most singaporean girls actually, but the gay girls tend to be marginally more interesting].
I don’t consider sex with either one as “more fun”, or “more sacred”, or whatever. Yes, I have yet to fall in love with a boy, but hey, I’ve only fallen in love with one person in my entire life, so that’s hardly a good sampling. Stop telling me what my sexuality is, I know it better than you. If I do date a man or a woman next, that has nothing to do with whom I prefer, it is what it is. It doesn’t mean anything has changed.
To lesbians who are afraid of bisexuals: getoverit. Whether your relationship is going to succeed has nothing to do with whether your partner is bisexual or lesbian. If she leaves you for a man, it is really no different from her leaving you for a woman, except maybe your ego gets hurt more. So getoverit. Seriously.
So you are disappointed with your boyfriend. Maybe he cheated on you, maybe he decided to be typical man and ignore your feelings. Maybe you think you can’t make it work with men anymore. So what is the solution? Find a woman, because she can’t break your heart? Because she’ll treat you better?
Please, for the sake of all that is good and lesbian, don’t even think about it. For one, no one can “turn” lesbian. They can experiment, but people are either queer, or they are not. They just might realise it at different points in life, or not realise it at all. Or some people are just attracted to a person, despite their gender. Continue reading